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280 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 11, 2022
“Tripp?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you hold me?” I wriggle closer to him.
“Fuck’s sake, I’m naked under here.”
“And? It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. Besides, the blanket is between us, so it’s not like it’s gay.”
“Right. Because being gay would be terrible.”
“You know that’s not what I mean. It’s just platonic snuggles.”
Finally, the tension starts to leave him. “Yeah, I know.”
“I think … I think we need to start looking at us from the outside. If we’re ever going to make our relationships work, maybe we need to --” He takes a breath. “-- stop being so possessive of each other.”
“I’m not possessive!”
“Who do I belong to?”
“Me, but --”
He grins.
“Shut up.”
My gaze goes unfocused, and I rub my jaw, trying to work out how long it would take for him to get desperate enough to offer for real.
If he did, would I go through with it? It’s always been so easy to be affectionate with him; would that really be any different? I know I’m straight, but Tripp doesn’t count.
He claims my mouth again, getting more confident as he stretches and rubs at places I’ve never realized could be so much fun.
My ass is buzzing, and the more he works me open, the more it makes my cock throb.
Like it’s a secret agreement between my ass and my balls. When one of us is having fun, we’re all having fun. And goddammit, this is fun.
Maybe that means I put more of a target on my head than I already have.
But with Tripp’s warm, large hand in mine, those people can all go and fuck themselves.
Although, seeing the way Tripp took that dildo, I’m beginning to think that isn’t the insult people think it is.
Next time someone tells me to go and fuck myself, I think I’ll give it a try.
I’m his best friend.
He’s my heart and soul.
And nothing will ever change that.
Not even his inability to love me back.
“No one has the same journey, Dex. It’s okay if you haven’t figured it out yet. That doesn’t mean you’re not valid.”
The idea of choosing one person to spend my whole life with is scary.
But as long as Tripp is always there, I know I can get through anything.
I slump into the seat. “I don’t want to be alone forever, and if that means tying my life to someone else’s, I’m going to need to find a way to do it.”
Tripp’s quiet for a moment, and it’s just as the couple up front are done signing and officially pronounced married that he nudges my side. “You’ll always have me. I don’t even need the piece of paper.”
That makes me warm inside.
We’re … legally married?
Fucking, fuck fuck.
“I missed you these last couple of days while you were avoiding me. I can’t lose you to another team. I’d be too tempted to let you score a goal every time I played against you.”
I take a deep breath and put on the performance of a lifetime. “I’d … love … chat.” I make sure I pause movement in between words too. “Dealing … crisis. Hello? I think … bad … reception.” I quickly hit the End button.
Oh no. The call dropped out.
Shame.
Real shame.
“Mm, maybe. Rumor has it Little Dalton will be joining them next season”
I’m his best friend.
He’s my heart and soul.
And nothing will ever change that.
Not even his inability to love me back.
Sooner or later, I’m going to have to face the Collective, but today is not that day. I already know what they’ll tell me anyway.
You’re only hurting yourself.
But the alternative is hurting Dex, and that’s something I’m not willing to do. Ever.
My hands grip his suit jacket as I kiss him back. He kisses me like I’m breakable. It’s slow, sweet, consuming.
I hate it.
It’s the worst thing he’s ever unknowingly done.
Because as we stand at an altar, promising ourselves to each other and sealing it with a kiss, my heart has never experienced such pain.